Not that of a holiday after all...

A lot of things are on my mind currently. Mostly troubles. Its as if its not a holiday.

I pray for favour. Favour from my Final Year Project supervisor. Things are not going well at this moment of time. And I have a feeling that he is bias against us. (My team and I) It was like this. A few weeks ago, we rushed to complete our progress report, as some of you may know. The deadline of the report is on Friday, so we decided to complete at least 80% of the report by Wednesday so that our supervisor can have a check.

During the check, he gave comments like It's good....It's okay.....etc. Which was really encouraging, and we really felt blessed then. Asking him whether we should let him check the completed version on Thursday, he said we don't have to, we can pass it up to him on Friday straight away. And we did just that.

Just checked the results of the progress report. And we only got 59%....out of 100. Wow...seriously dejecting stuff. The purpose we let him check our work, is so that we will not obtain these kinds of marks. And this "say 1 thing, do anything" stuff, has been happening. So depressing.

Oh Lord, please grant us favour from our supervisor.

And now my teammates are not here with me. I am really fearful. Fearful that something I am about to do, or not do, will cost me even more than it already has. Wherever I go, the grips of intimidation grabs hold of my heart, reminding me of my troubles. Things which are enjoyable, does not seem to appeal anymore. Paranoia sinks in, like mercury, in an already dark and murky water. Everything around me seems to shift to negativity, forming a prison without me releasing it.

This is when I need to open my ears, attune my senses to listen. Listen to the One who created me. Listen to the One who is in control. Yes, You are in control of everything.

Psalm 23:3-6 (New International Version)

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Show me the way. Help me listen. Grant me favour. I will praise You forever.